Intimacy: the Motivation for Purity

“Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.”

--Jesus, Matthew 5:8

“Mauriac dismissed most of the arguments in favor of sexual purity that he had been taught in his Catholic upbringing. ‘Marriage will cure lust’: it did not for Mauriac, as it has not for so many others, because lust involves the attraction of unknown creatures and the taste for adventure and chance meetings. ‘With self-discipline you can master lust’: Mauriac found that sexual desire is like a tidal wave powerful enough to bear away all the best intentions. ‘True fulfillment can only be found in monogamy’: this may be true, but it certainly does not seem true to someone who finds no slackening of sexual urges even in monogamy. Thus he weighed the traditional arguments for purity and found them wanting.

“Mauriac concluded that self-discipline, repression, and rational argument are inadequate weapons to use in fighting the impulse toward impurity. In the end, he could find only one reason to be pure, and that is what Jesus presented in the Beatitudes: ‘Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.’ In Mauriac’s words, ‘Impurity separates us from God. The spiritual life obeys laws as verifiable as those of the physical world….Purity is the condition for a higher love—for a possession superior to all possessions: that of God. Yes this is what is at state, and nothing less.’

“Reading Francois Mauriac’s words did not end my struggle with lust. But I must say that beyond all doubt that I have found his analysis to be true. The love God holds out to us requires that our faculties be cleansed and purified before we can receive a higher love, one attainable in no other way. That is the motive to stay pure. By harboring lust, I limit my own intimacy with God.

“The pure in heart are truly blessed, for they will see God. It is as simple and as difficult, as that.”

--Phillip Yancey in The Jesus I Never Knew (p. 119), reflecting on the writings of French Catholic Francois Mauriac

I read and reviewed Yancey’s book in one of my classes this semester. Personally, this one quote was worth the whole read—it reverberated with me. There is no real intimacy with God without purity. God had been challenging me all semester to view purity not so much as an abstention from certain behaviors, but rather a passionate pursuit of just One thing. God. I say God has been challenging me in this—I would really like to say I have learned this, but really, I am struggling so much to apply it.

God. Possessing God. Finding intimacy with Him. Accepting all His love and being able to love Him back. This is the goal. Nothing less and nothing more. Jesus spoke of this kind intimacy in His “High Priestly Prayer” in John 17. He desired that His followers “may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me” (John 17:21). Jesus sees this intimacy with Him as the path to real joy (John 17:13).

But how do we get to knowing God like this? Not just knowing intellectually about Him, but seeing Him for who He is? How do we move beyond intellectual conjuncture and into the realm of seeing—the experiential realm of realizing the reality of God Himself? Its precondition is purity. “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.” How does one ”get” pure? We know we can’t do it ourselves. Notice it is purity in heart. It is not people who simply do pure things or believe in pure things, nor people who just think purely. Purity is a disposition of the heart.

Some people seem to think (or at least act like) that the goal of Christian living is discipline. But discipline is a petty aim. What does it get you? If discipline is an end in itself, it either makes you feel smugly self-righteous, or sorely disappointed and lifeless because it you just missed out on something that seems really cool and pleasurable. Why discipline ourselves? Should we even bother to pursue discipline? Discipline has this tendency to either feed my pride or make me feel like a failure! A couple times I have wondered that in order to purse a grace-filled life, maybe I should ditch any pursuit of discipline altogether.

But perhaps the key to practicing discipline is to realize that discipline is not the end in itself. It is one aspect (among others) of growing toward purity of heart which in turn produces intimacy with God. Discipline is one way we cooperate with God in making us pure. But if we forget the goal of discipline (real intimacy with Him) we are elevating a secondary pursuit to an abysmal first.

Purity, likewise, is not to be pursued as merely an end in itself. It is not merely a form of self-discipline to make me a better person—that is far too weak a goal to accomplish something so insurmountable. Purity (more specifically for me: Moral Purity) has that end of intimacy with Christ. I want to Possess Him and live in the richness of His love. That is the motivation that propels me to repent (turn away from) inferior affections and to nurture passion for Him. I crave Intimacy and I know that there is only one Person who can fully satisfy that craving. I have tasted of His intimate love and caring nature, but do not live in it moment by moment.

Change our hearts, oh Lord, to truly desire You above all else.

On standards we can't keep

"I have disappointed and failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself," the first-term governor told a packed press conference at his Manhattan office. "I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family," he added, as his wife of two decades, Silda, stood by his side.

–Words of Eliot Spitzer, Governor of New York State, alluding to allegations of illegal involvement with a prostitution ring. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7288540.stm

How many times do we disappoint and fail to live up to the standards we expect for ourselves? That is perhaps the key thing that defines fallen man. Fallen man is not defined by the fact that he no longer knows right from wrong. His problem is that he knows right from wrong, but is hopelessly unable to walk in it. Everyone—atheist, Christian, or heathen alike—all set some sort of standard for themselves concerning the way they think they ought to live! The ironic thing is that people break the very standards they themselves create! I am not speaking here of God’s laws and perfect holiness which we obviously far fall short of, but something more simple—those artificial standards of righteousness we set up for ourselves.

From the mom who says she should never yell at her kids (and then does anyways) to the husband who says that he should always be patient with his wife (and then loses it), to the kid who has always said cheating was wrong (and then looks at his friend’s paper), to the governor who spouts the need for integrity….need I go on? I mean, really, if you yourself can’t think of a single circumstance of duplicity in your own life, then perhaps your thinker is out of order. We all do it on different levels in various circumstances.

What is the natural response when we find ourselves in a position where we have violated what we understand to be right? Well usually, the place I want to start is blame—I blame my circumstances, or the people who have influenced me, the helps that had been denied me, or the pressures that surround me! Sometimes (and this one can even look responsible), I blame my own weakness. That way at least it looks like I am facing up to my errors! In reality, though, I am simply hiding behind my humanity as an excuse for my shortcomings.

Another natural response is simply a sudden shift in standards. “Oh, well, I thought that was wrong before, but now because I have done it, and found so much pleasure in it—well…it can’t be wrong because it felt so right! Wow, I was so inhibited!” We have just justified something we knew was wrong. Maybe we’ll feel guilty about it for a while, but eventually it will begin to feel like normal behavior.

May I submit that this human behavior pattern of violating what we know to be right is a universal indication that mankind is broken? We are fallen people. We know what we ought to do and yet don’t do it! It is not complicated! It is just that we are broken! Men and women will face judgment primarily on the basis of this reality—their constant falling short of the standard they know to be right. In fact, we in essence judge ourselves. We know what is right, yet screw it up.

You get the picture here? The good news is this: God sent a Savior, Jesus. He fixes things. In fact, He fixes broken people. All who trust in Him, acknowledging that they have failed and need fixing get a special gift: they are no longer judged the way they deserve to be judged, and they receive new power that grows them toward actually living the way they ought to live.

Learn from our poor governor—learn from me—it’s impossible for you to live up to the standard you expect from yourself. If you think you are actually doing it, you probably are just blind to the duplicity of pride that permeates your existence.

Be honest about your shortcomings and look to the Savior for his forgiveness and help. It’s never too late and never to early to repent. It’s the sweetest gift you’ll ever receive, and it’s a gift you will have to keep tapping over and over again.

The gift of singleness...

Happy Valentine’s Day! Or, as one friend told me today, “Happy Singles Awareness Day, or S.A.D.” I don’t really like that last one, though, because being single is not such a sad thing. You are lonely at times, yes, but there are special benefits and opportunities in singleness that you really don’t have when you are married (or dating or engaged, etc.).

It’s funny that God seems to have been speaking to me about singleness the past week or two. Part of it is a carryover from how God met me at a recent conference in Asia, and part of it something fresh. Most of it, however, is just starting to really understand what Paul was saying in 1 Corinthians 7.

"One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord."

(1 Cor. 7:32-35 NAS95, emphasis added)

People have often talked about the “gift of singleness.” Sometimes when people say this, they are referring to the idea of a God-given temperament or “gift” that allows someone to live a fulfilling, celibate life. That is one definition, but I am thinking about a broader definition: that state of romantic unattachment which a follower of Christ finds him or herself in for an indefinite period of time (for whatever reason). The person in our second definition may have no specific “call” to be single in the short or long term—it’s just that they haven’t found their life partner yet, or circumstances have forced them to choose otherwise. What I refer to as the “gift of singleness” definitely falls in the second category.

Being single is a gift. No really, it is! But up to this point in my life, I don’t think I’ve really opened up the gift and started to get excited about it. Imagine a child getting a present on their birthday, looking at it for months without opening it, and then wondering why their Daddy gave them such a bum birthday present! I have been pouty with God on and off because I would get lonely, have unfulfilled desires, want to have some romantic fun, or just because I felt like I was missing out on something special that other friends have. All these attitudes reveal that I missed the essence of the gift, and am only looking at the fading wrapping paper!

The real gift of singleness is about devotion to God. You can’t really get excited about being single unless you’re excited about God—the reason I‘m excited about it right now is because I’m excited about God! Paul says it is for our benefit, to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. The gift is that you are at a time in life where God is totally able to mold you and shape you without distraction. You have fewer demands on your time and life; fewer responsibilities with caring for other people. More than any other time in life, you can maximize your time alone with your God and seek intimacy with Him. In greater measure than ever before, you are able to focus your energy on becoming holy in both body and spirit. You can, more than a married person can rightly do, discipline your lifestyle to focus on pleasing the Lord exclusively.

Do you see the caveat to the gift here? You’re not going to enjoy singleness unless you learn to enjoy God. Period. Singleness (or marriage actually, for that matter) can easily be viewed as a curse if it is not in the context of a life of enjoyment of God. There are struggles in any life circumstance: single, married, living with parents, etc., but they all boil back to how you are relating to God.

Let me state it one last way: God is the gift of singleness. Take off the wrapping paper. Open the gift. My guess is that intimacy and a life toward “undistracted devotion” is inside. Use the gift!