Kingdom Seeker

Walking with God is like a song

2011-12-19T21:31:00.000-05:00

One topic I'm really interested in is preaching. I want to know, how can we best communicate the truth about Jesus and who He is? How can the words we use in a church service best be used to increase people's faith in God or encourage them in their walk with Him? At this point, I don't preach often. I only get the opportunity to share in front of a group occasionally. Recently, I uploaded all the sermons I have recorded copies of. It's funny as I re-listened to them how encouraged (and how convicted) I was. It's interesting how the lessons of years past are so applicable to me here again at a new place in my own life.

Walking with God is like learning a song with many verses but the same tune repeats over and over again. Although you're singing different words the second or third time through, you quickly realize the tune is the same. At the end of the song, you probably don't remember any of the words except the first phrase, but that tune--well, that tune really sticks. You learn the tune.

Walking with God is like that. The lessons God teaches you at one point in time He will often come back and teach you again. And again. And again.

Some probably would say it is because we are "slow learners". Yes, that is true. But it goes deeper than that. I think God is very interested in a few core themes (things like His glory, His loving nature, Our need for Him, His desire for communion with us, His desire to redeem our world). These things are the music. In each verse, though, we experience the core truths of God in new (and deeper) ways. New situations or new challenges in life bring different words to the same tune. They add depth to the meaning of the tune.

That is how I feel when I listened to some of my old sermons. If you care to listen, the sermons I uploaded are here: http://lifetothefull.sermondrop.com

Awed afresh by the Incarnation

2011-12-05T10:21:00.001-05:00

Once again this Christmas I am amazed by the incarnation. More than any other doctrine or event in history, I find this one event to be the greatest.   Jesus' death and resurrection (Easter) are up there, too, for sure. But just think about this event we are celebrating. The incarnation is like the ultimate plot twist in an already enthralling super-novel. God becoming a man? The Son of God embracing human form? That is something in my psyche and intellect that is so unexpected and paradigm shifting.

The complete awe of this event is not associated with its show of power. Indeed, the awe is produced by the incredible yielding of power. Infinite God willingly assumed a form that was finite. The Creator--the Word of God Himself through whom the earth was spoken into existence--inhabited human form and experienced His very own creation in like manner as the creation! There is no comparison. There was never an event like this and there will never be an event comparable.

In this one act, Jesus also demonstrated the inestimable worth of humandkind. We humans, we share traits with other animals, yes. Yet the Son of God, pure Spirit, esteemed human form as as worthy of Himself.   The Bible says He "became flesh".   He assumed, not temporarily, but for all time a human form. How mind boggling! We truly are made "in the image of God" if the divine Son of God Himself could become one of us. He thinks that much of our race, wow!

The incarnation is logically unexpected and in some ways intellectually incomprehensible. Yet its implications are philosophically astounding, emotionally overwhelming, and full of spiritual mystery. In the wake of the incarnation's paradoxical demonstration of power comes a deeper revelation and understanding of both the divine nature and human nature. Unbelievable!

Truly we stand in awe of you: Jesus, the God-man.   You have demonstrated to us that the greatest power is shown through meekness and humility. You have show us in your action of incarnation how valuable all people actually are in your sight. Guide our worship of you this Christmas to be full of the reverent awe you deserve. Amen.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made... And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:1-3,14 ESV)

3 ways to be a legalist

2011-10-20T15:17:00.000-04:00

A lot of accusations of "legalism" fly around from time to time. It refers to a negative phenomenon and implies that a follower of Jesus is not in touch with what the Good News is really all about. I think all Christians struggle with legalism at different points in their journey. I find it helpful to think of the term in a few categories. Legalism is...

Legalism is trying to earn salvation (justification) by keeping the Law of the Bible or by following a specific set of rules. The Bible teaches that we can only be saved by faith in God through His gift to us!
Legalism is trying to make oneself holy (sanctified) by following the law or a set of rules rather than believing your holiness before God comes because of your new identity as a child of God.. (This does not say that God does not have a certain standard, but it does call us to examine our method of and motives for becoming holy. Holiness must also come by faith, not by simply my own striving.)
Legalism is requiring a set of rules that are more restrictive than God's rules and holding others to this standard as if God did in fact did require it.. Like the Pharisees, we Christians sometimes interpret and apply the Bible's teaching "by the letter of the law" and/or add extra requirements rather than focusing on the "spirit of the law".

For the record, #2 is the one I struggle with the most.

Perhaps this is a sermon series and not a blog post, but one root thing that all three of these "types of legalism" have in common is emphasizing our faithfulness/responsibility to God in a way that supersedes or overshadows His faithfulness and love to us. God's faithfulness to us is the centerpiece of the Gospel, not our faithfulness to Him. Of the two, His faithfulness to us must always come across louder and clearer. We must learn to find our identity in His faithfulness, not our own. This puts the focus and glory back on God, not us. This is the only way to experience abundant life!

For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes--the Jew first and also the Gentile. This Good News tells us how God makes us right in his sight. This is accomplished from start to finish by faith. As the Scriptures say, "It is through faith that a righteous person has life." (Romans 1:16-17, NLT)

Longing to Belong

2011-09-27T10:18:00.001-04:00

What is your niche? Have you found your niche in the Kingdom? A niche is that place, group, or activity that feels right, where you know you belong. I think everyone has this yearning for a sense of "belonging."   Do you feel like you belong in your church or family or other circles you might be part of?

There are perhaps different types of niches. There is the type of belonging that says "I am accepted here, I am known here, these people know me fully (warts and all) and (yet) fully accept me! These people would give their life for me and I for them!" This is real friendship, this is real community, real fellowship. Paul used the Greek word koinonia in Philippians to describe this kind of bond he had with the Phillippian church. Unfortunately, I think it is rare in many churches. It takes time and vulnerability to achieve. People who live out this type of community live in an environment of real grace. I have experienced this at times in small group settings and in family. People are really "family" in this group. The words "brother" and "sister" take on real and deep meaning. This is a beautiful thing. Really it is a taste of heaven as the Holy Spirit invades and transforms our relationships here on earth.

The second type of niche finding is that fruit-bearing niche. Most of us also yearn to be able to say "I am being used! I understand my gifts and they are being utilized! I see God doing things through me!" Productivity-driven American culture often elevates the importance of this niche over the previous one. I often fall into "task-mode" or "vision-mode" and begin to rate myself based on this niche. (Bad idea.) This is an important niche, but it is not primary. Fruit is important. Reaching out to others (even reaching the whole world is important), but be cautious of how it becomes your focus. Measuring yourself by how well you perform will suck the life out of you and leave you feeling defeated. This is not the New Covenant way. Also, you may go many years and not feel like you've found this niche. It often takes time to understand how God has wired You and your fruit-bearing niche may not become clear for sometime.

There is another aspect to finding your Kingdom niche. This is really the first and primary aspect. I dare say that this niche is a precondition to any real sense of belonging in the Kingdom. Sobering, too, is that I even forgot this most important niche when I began this entry.   Our primary place of belonging in the Kingdom is to belong to Jesus. We have to understand and experience a continuing relationship to the King of the Kingdom. You and me: sons and daughters. We are seated with Jesus in heavenly realms. We are forgiven and covered by Jesus' own righteousness. When the Holy Father looks at us, he sees the perfectness of His Son; he doesn't regard us in our sin or shortcomings. He yearns to walk with us. He desires communion with us as a friend or even a lover.

This is the primary niche that we as believers need to really understand. Let it wash you again. Fight to abide here in this place. This is life itself.   The Eternal God loves you and has opened up a place for you at his table and next to His throne. If that's not a niche, if that's not a place to feel a sense of belonging, I'm not sure what is.

Remind of this, Lord, we know you have made a niche for us in Your family. We long to belong. Help us as we seek out communion with you and help us to trust you with our other needs for feeling a place of belonging.

One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.
(Psalm 27:4)

How many dimensions does preaching have?

2011-09-26T14:07:00.000-04:00

I recently watched a video of Tim Keller sharing his views on biblical preaching. It really resonated with my soul. I don't believe Keller has written a book on this subject (at least not yet), but this video may be one of the best teachings I have heard to date on preaching. Other study I have done recently on preaching method has seemed rather one-dimensional and left me frustrated. (One-dimensional preaching = focusing almost exclusively on behavior change as the goal of preaching.) Keller is refreshingly multi-dimensional.

Keller suggests that biblical preaching needs to be: 1) Gospel-centered, 2) Christ-centered, 3) life changing on the spot, and 4) culturally transforming. Each one of these really hits a vibe with me. Preaching needs to proclaim the true Gospel (not moralism/behavior change), show how Christ is the theme of all of Scripture and exalt Him above all, aim for supernatural heart change on the spot, and aim to effect cultural change by truly understanding and engaging the cultural viewpoints of the listeners. I like his thoughts, I like the order they are put in, and I like the depth with which he elaborates!

Have a listen if you're interested:

Tim Keller Feb'09: Preaching the Gospel from Newfrontiers on Vimeo.

Leading is all about following

2011-09-06T10:48:00.003-04:00

"Follow me"

A quick search reveals that Jesus uses the phrase 20 times in the gospels. This was Jesus' call to Peter and Andrew the fishermen, to Philip, and also the call to Matthew the tax collector. The same call to the rich young ruler proved ineffectual because the wealthy lad could not give up what he valued, "Sell all that you have and follow me." Follow me--so simple, yet so difficult for those endowed with much of anything.

Perhaps the greatest quality of any true spiritual leader is this one quality: being a follower. Not a follower of a specific church leader or of a certain philosophy of life. Not a follower of a particular religion. Not a follower of a rule of life, a specific group of teachings, or a series of principles. The call is a call from a Man to follow Him. "Follow me."

Simple, yes? Yet so difficult. Jesus knew that His way was the way of a cross. Thus our invitation to follow is paired with cross-bearing. "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." The simple follow me is inseparably linked with take up your cross.

This, then, is the way of the Kingdom. All Kingdom leaders are expert followers. The greatest is the servant of all. Jesus turns on its head every worldly paradigm and shatters every humanly normal way of looking at things. The paradox is shockingly fresh and beautiful.

Do I want to be a follower of Jesus? Yes! Of course I do! Yet sometimes--No, no thank you! There is no greater calling and no greater joy than to be following Him. Yet sometimes still I want to be like the rich young ruler and cling to the prestige and security which I have inherited or can build in my own strength. But one cannot truly follow Him and avoid the way of the cross.

Thanks be to God for His gift of grace and promise to complete the work He has begun. Help us, Lord to be faithful in following You. Plant in our hearts a desire to follow You that is stronger than our desire to lead others. Amen.

Is leadership over-hyped?

2011-09-02T11:43:00.000-04:00

Is the concept of leadership over-hyped? Over my past 4 years in a ministry training environment, that's a question I've asked myself and a skepticism I've put to many different of my thinking friends. My question is asked sincerely but also out of a sense of frustration. On the one hand, I know I'm called to follow God in such a way that I will also be leading others. Yet on the other hand, I have trouble identifying with a lot of what spoken of, exemplified, and taught in the name of "leadership." The corporate world gives us the CEO example, the mega church gives us a super-pastor model, the para-church gives us the disciplined, respected, popular leader. I don't identify with any of them. Honestly, I wonder how much Jesus or the disciples would have identified with these models.

Some of my friends are specifically and passionately pursing a "leadership" calling on their life and in some cases have done extensive reading on understanding how to be a leader. In my church, we often talk about "leadership gifts". We, the American church, have many different "leadership" conferences, summits, and seminars that are designed to take on "leadership" issues. There are a plethora of both sacred and secular books on how to be an effective leader. In spite of all this the church as a whole seems to have a dearth of good leaders. Many church leaders and well-known Christians say things like "the church needs more leaders!" or "there is a lack of leadership in the church!" I don't necessarily disagree. But I do wonder. Sometimes I wonder things like, "Are church spokespeople missing a bigger and simpler mandate than leadership? Are we elevating a secondary topic to a first place position? Are we over-complicating this?"

Jesus instructed his followers to do many things. Perhaps highest on the list were the verbs believe, love, abide, serve, and feed (i.e. Jn 3, 13, 15, 21:15-19). I propose that these verbs point to a main mandate to become spiritually mature in Jesus. As people of God, we are called to receive His grace and live it out. We are continually called to new and deepening levels of this receiving and living. I further propose that spiritual leadership comes almost naturally as an out flow of this kind of maturity in Christ.

I wonder sometimes if our approach to training leaders is akin to teaching a caterpillar to fly. Caterpillars as caterpillars are not equipped to fly. But, fly they will once their maker transforms them. Growing up and waiting are the key things for the caterpillar to work on, not flutter techniques. Perhaps those who assist the caterpillar should just be satisfied that the caterpillar will one day burst into flight. This is a simplification of course. I do in fact believe that there are learned leadership skills and techniques that are helpful. Yet it seems to me that 95% of spiritual leadership is simply spiritual maturity. If believers and church leaders would focus primarily on growing deep in Christ, good leadership will emerge with vitality.

Show me someone who's body, mind, emotions, spirit, and relationships have been transformed by the Holy Spirit, and I will show you someone who is a good leader. I would further wager that the biggest hindrance in my own leadership is not that I don't know what to do or how to do it. Rather, it stems a lack of maturity in several areas where God continues His work. I need more of His love flowing through me, a deeper understanding of his abiding presence and father-love, a transforming desire from Him to serve, an excitement of being vulnerable in community, and a compassion to feed and shepherd!

Real leadership is excellent and we need it in our churches, yet I can't help but think that maturity in Christ is the platinum commodity. What do you think?

The Clue Hunt

2010-05-06T11:59:00.009-04:00

Friday, April 30, ~ 6:00 pm. Alissa was expecting her boyfriend to arrive from out of state. Instead, a dozen Roses, a sealed envelope (clue #1), and a keyed box (clue #3) are delivered by Kim to Alissa’s house (Bama & Papa’s). The clue is to call Bre and get her help in opening the box.

Clue #1:

A wildflower or a rose, which one do you propose?

Like you, a wildflower is pretty yet much untamed,
Each bouquet—full of color, unique, far from same.

A rose, so formal, implies distinction.
Like you it’s special, beautiful, exquisite, and expensive.

A wildflower, though, seems most natural
It fits your attitude, your cadence, and your fashion.

Still others say that roses, “they are more impressive.”
Those thorny plants insinuate more—connection?

A boyfriend’s dilemma to be sure!
But at least when in love… maybe I should ….
Choose the rose?

Dear wildflower,

You are more special than all the wildflowers OR roses the world over. These are just a reminder of that simple fact. I’m actually not going to be in town tonight . But, I will see you tomorrow. There’s a few things you need to do tonight to get ready for tomorrow, though. The necessary instructions are in the locked container.

The person who will help you open that box is someone whom you know.
You say she’s good at organizing things at home and even in your abode.
This isn’t difficult, in fact I think I’ve already given it all away.
Just pick up the phone and call a friend whose last name begins with K.

Friday, April 30, ~ 6:10 pm. Bre answers phone and (eventually) discloses that she has the next clue and will bring it over to Alissa’s house.

Friday, April 30, ~ 6:30 pm. Bre arrives at Alissa’s house with an envelope (clue #2). It contains the following note with a key enclosed that fits the lock on the box already delivered (clue #3).

Clue #2:

Dearest friend,

Here is a key. I think of 3 things when I look at this key:

1) God has given you a key. You seem to have a key to unlock certain things in me that no one else can. You bring out aspects of fun, wildness, faith, and passion for life that no one else to this point has seemed able to release. You increase my desire to walk in holy obedience to God’s Spirit, and your example challenges me to be more the kind of man I want to be.

2) Second, I am giving you a key. I have been and am still choosing to yield to you another key—the key to my heart. You get this key because I trust you. I am willing to entrust you with access the deepest places of vulnerability, more than anyone else has. To you I open the craziest musings, the ugliest struggles, and the most sacred blessings. You, dear friend, are given access to walk and browse in all these places.

3) Lastly, you have been giving me a key. The greatest blessing I have experienced in our relationship is you, opening yourself to me. You have allowed me to begin to unlock your heart in a way that fills me with joy. You have chosen vulnerability over fear or protectiveness. You have chosen—in spite of my own struggles at times to walk in grace—to trust me with an unmasked view of who you are and who you desire to become.

Keys, then, are important. This one, though, will just open the next clue. Maybe Bre can help you figure out and complete the next step. Have fun with it.

I love you.
Matt

KEY ENCLOSED IN THIS ENVELOPE.

Friday, April 30, 6:40 pm. Alissa and Bre open the box in question (clue #3). It has chocolates, etc., and an envelope with the poem below:

Clue #3:

Sweetheart,

Don’t be mad, don’t be (too) sad.
You’ll get to see me soon, so it’s not all that bad.

Adventure awaits you on the morrow
With me, your friend, your bow, your… lover (?)

I’ll keep you guessing about the precise destination
But I’ll give you some hints about your preparations

The Adirondacks would be great, but buggy I’m afraid
Let’s go somewhere more civilized on this the first of May.

A jungle would be nice, or a Siberian plain, (haha)
But these are a bit far-fetched for a weekend’s simple aim

So, pack a bag for tomorrow, adventure doth await.
Think urban fun—not Africa—streetlamps when it gets late.

Enough for a few days, a couple nights.
Nothing complicated. Please, keep it light!

Don’t worry about a place to sleep. I’ve got that figured out.
Someplace we’ll both find interesting, no doubt!

Bulky baggage is more difficult to carry. If you think you’ve got the knack,
Maybe you could fit it all inside a medium backpack?
(but, don’t worry if you can’t)

Remember, sometimes streets seem forever to go on,
Bring footwear a mite less beautiful, but still practical and fun.

So, I think this concludes all the hints I have for you.
Of the coming day, you’ve been given a small preview.

Tomorrow will be an early date, I think it best we don’t be late!
Be ready for a knock on your door at quarter to eight!

Sleep well, best friend, dream deep.
Pack your stuff and seek that elusive sleep.

Saturday, May 1, 7:45 am. Becca arrives at Alissa’s house. Becca gives her an envelope (clue #4). Envelope apologizes that her handsome boyfriend can’t be there, but one of favorite mutual friends is! Yay! The envelope gives her instructions to go order a latte from the counter of her favorite Starbucks. Clue below:

Clue #4:

What? Who’s this?
It’s not Matt, it’s Becca!
A friend loyal, honest and supportive
Our inevitable pairing—perhaps she knew?

Good at hugging she might be,
But now, perhaps, hers are insufficient
To fill a hole of romantic affection
That feels (right now)…deficient!

So put your bag in Becca’s car
She’ll help you find your truer love.
Don’t forget your license, wallet, purse, or phone
You might need these yet for future roads.

Chaffer Becca, set your course
To the place of Lissa’s last work.
Order a Latte Tall (decafe will do!)
You’ll receive an envelope with another clue!

The coffee, its brewing
The next clue, its looming!
We’ve time enough to skip the Via,
But don’t get stuck barista mingling!

Saturday, May 1, 8:30 am. Alissa arrives at Starbucks. Hannah, Vanessa, Kate, or other barista at Starbucks gives her an envelope when she places her order for a Latte (clue #5).

Clue #5:

Barista Alissa,

I can think of three things that make my heart beat faster:
a) A triple shot mint mocha venti frap consumed in under 15 minutes.
b) A hug from you or gazing deeply into your brown eyes
c) The ends of earth, and God’s sovereign plan for those people groups.

> You can get a) now if you desire (but it wouldn’t be advisable).
> I’d like b) now, but I’m not sitting across from you next to the bonsai tree and I miss you.
> The physical gateway to item c), however, is pertinent. It is your next stop where you will receive your final clue.

So go—
go to that place where the earth meets skies,
where long trips are born, where people fly!
park the car and go inside,
pick an escalator and sit nearby.
your next emissary is not shy.
he will surely find you and say ‘hi’.

Saturday, May 1, 9:20 am. Alissa arrives at airport. Jeff is waiting for her, keeping an eye out for her. A little while after she sits down near the escalator he comes by and says hi. No idea how he will play this one off, but eventually he gives her an envelope (clue #6) with instructions on how to get her ticket.

Clue #6

My Dear Alissa,

Congratulations on making it to clue #6 in one piece. I expect that the future may contain many adventures, and much travel. Your final instructions are below:

1. Go to US Airways check-in computer
2. Retrieve a boarding pass for yourself using the Record Locator code BPJFQD. It is a direct flight to your destination.
3. Check your bag if you need to (if it is too big or if it has aerosol/liquids in it). (Money is for checking bag). Otherwise you can carry it on.
4. Wait for your flight.

I’m expecting you.

Love, Matt

US Airways record locator: BPJFQD
Orbitz record locator: AP800101BPJFQD8M
Airline ticket number(s): 03777552010912

Saturday, May 1, 11:21 am. Plane leaves.

[Open on the plane envelope]

Dear Alissa,

I am glad that you are now underway to join me in DC for a weekend getaway. I hope the small clue hunt over the last 17 hours has been fun and not too exhausting/stressing. Of course, you said at one point that you’d follow me anywhere, so perhaps I am just testing and teasing that theory a little bit. But I also wanted to have some time with just you, so this seemed like a good plan. An adventure for both of us, together. I appreciate your readiness to try new things and to be flexible and spontaneous.

Looking forward to seeing you soon.

Love, Matt

Saturday, May 1, 12:48 pm. Plane arrives in DC Reagan National. Matt is waiting at the gate as Alissa gets off the plane.

Saturday, May 1, afternoon.
>Use Metro to travel to the hostel 5 blocks E of the Capitol and drop our bags.
> Do some walking around the mall, visit some of the Smithsonians (Botanical garden, Art Museum), get lunch. (Also, try the paddle boats on the tidal pool).

At sunset, on the banks of the Potomac, I proposed, and she said YES!

(To view more photos of the weekend, click here.)

Special thanks to:
Kim (mutual friend from Campus Ambassador days at SUNY)
Breanna (Alissa’s cousin and friend),
Rebecca (mutual friend from SUNY and Cornerstone),
Hannah, Vanessa, Kate & Starbucks friends, (Alissa’s community from her last job)
Jeff (mutual friend from Cornerstone)

Thanks for your help in pulling this off. You guys are awesome.

Alissa Jodelle Detweiler, I LOVE YOU!!

Holy Spirit: fill, heal, change

2009-10-01T17:53:00.001-04:00

Lord Jesus Christ, I want to put You first.
each day, in everything, in every way.
to choose your path first at every junction,
for this--a way of life, I yearn and pray.

a songwriter once wrote “prone to wander”
and Lord, I do feel this so strong.
I do not plan to run from You; but so often,
my heart just grows cold and I find myself alone

why does my heart become so underwhelmed
when everything around shouts and sings of your great love?
why do I become distracted in the course set for me?
certainly this is the epitome of shallowness--what stupidity!

You are the pearl of great price
your worth is certain above all sacrifice
only with every possession held in full surrender,
can I embrace this life of complete abandon.

help me, Holy One who lives within
change my heart, free me from all sin.
fill me up with your desire and give me that ability to follow
guide me in the truth by your own power

not in the likes of me does power such as this abide
only in your gift of love can it possibly materialize
I am empty, broken, willing
Holy Spirit, be my filler, healer, and desire.

Birthday reflections

2009-02-23T00:59:00.000-05:00

Birthdays are, among other things, opportunities to reflect on where you have been and where you are going. For those of us who follow Jesus, it is an opportunity to give thanks to God for what He has brought us through and the blessings He has given us.

As I enter a new year of life, I give thanks afresh to God for his provision of two amazing parents—parents who have sacrificially poured their own lives out for their children. For a father who has modeled a life of striving toward God, depending on God, giving thanks in all things, and a willingness to continue to grow and change regardless of his stage in life. For a mother who has demonstrated persistence in her relationship with God, unending love and concern for her family, hospitality to friends and strangers; a woman who’s inner beauty is becoming deeper and clearer with each new year.

I give thanks to God for three sisters—not just sisters, but the best and closest of friends. Sisters who have challenged me through their life choices and willingness to make radical decisions to follow Jesus; sisters who have encouraged me with words of affirmation, who have affirmed God’s work in me, and have both accepted and shared wisdom at apropos times.

Praise God, too, for a wonderful family in Christ. Even this year, God has expanded this family to include so many new kindred spirits. Thanks to God for new brothers, fathers, uncles; new sisters and aunts. Thanks to him for friends that are brothers indeed; for helping me learn new things about how to live and serve others in a community of grace.

Most of all, I give thanks for what Jesus did that enables me to truly know my heavenly Father and experience His comfort, life, joy, peace, and purpose. Thank you Jesus for continuing to shine Your grace upon me; thank you for giving me what I don’t deserve: Life. Not just air to breathe, but the Holy Spirit—breath from heaven that fills me to overflowing and brings me glimpses of a Reality that is far more glorious than anything I could imagine.

Many other co-workers, teachers, and dear international friends could be mentioned. I look at my facebook profile and see an astounding 388 people—all people that I know in some way or another. Relationships—with God and with others—these are the greatest of God’s blessings. Thank you for the birthday wishes; thanks for all of you who have helped me realize today how blessed I really am. I am a rich man.

Intimacy: the Motivation for Purity

2008-12-13T17:30:00.005-05:00

“Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.”

--Jesus, Matthew 5:8

“Mauriac dismissed most of the arguments in favor of sexual purity that he had been taught in his Catholic upbringing. ‘Marriage will cure lust’: it did not for Mauriac, as it has not for so many others, because lust involves the attraction of unknown creatures and the taste for adventure and chance meetings. ‘With self-discipline you can master lust’: Mauriac found that sexual desire is like a tidal wave powerful enough to bear away all the best intentions. ‘True fulfillment can only be found in monogamy’: this may be true, but it certainly does not seem true to someone who finds no slackening of sexual urges even in monogamy. Thus he weighed the traditional arguments for purity and found them wanting.

“Mauriac concluded that self-discipline, repression, and rational argument are inadequate weapons to use in fighting the impulse toward impurity. In the end, he could find only one reason to be pure, and that is what Jesus presented in the Beatitudes: ‘Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.’ In Mauriac’s words, ‘Impurity separates us from God. The spiritual life obeys laws as verifiable as those of the physical world….Purity is the condition for a higher love—for a possession superior to all possessions: that of God. Yes this is what is at state, and nothing less.’

“Reading Francois Mauriac’s words did not end my struggle with lust. But I must say that beyond all doubt that I have found his analysis to be true. The love God holds out to us requires that our faculties be cleansed and purified before we can receive a higher love, one attainable in no other way. That is the motive to stay pure. By harboring lust, I limit my own intimacy with God.

“The pure in heart are truly blessed, for they will see God. It is as simple and as difficult, as that.”

--Phillip Yancey in The Jesus I Never Knew (p. 119), reflecting on the writings of French Catholic Francois Mauriac

I read and reviewed Yancey’s book in one of my classes this semester. Personally, this one quote was worth the whole read—it reverberated with me. There is no real intimacy with God without purity. God had been challenging me all semester to view purity not so much as an abstention from certain behaviors, but rather a passionate pursuit of just One thing. God. I say God has been challenging me in this—I would really like to say I have learned this, but really, I am struggling so much to apply it.

God. Possessing God. Finding intimacy with Him. Accepting all His love and being able to love Him back. This is the goal. Nothing less and nothing more. Jesus spoke of this kind intimacy in His “High Priestly Prayer” in John 17. He desired that His followers “may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me” (John 17:21). Jesus sees this intimacy with Him as the path to real joy (John 17:13).

But how do we get to knowing God like this? Not just knowing intellectually about Him, but seeing Him for who He is? How do we move beyond intellectual conjuncture and into the realm of seeing—the experiential realm of realizing the reality of God Himself? Its precondition is purity. “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.” How does one ”get” pure? We know we can’t do it ourselves. Notice it is purity in heart. It is not people who simply do pure things or believe in pure things, nor people who just think purely. Purity is a disposition of the heart.

Some people seem to think (or at least act like) that the goal of Christian living is discipline. But discipline is a petty aim. What does it get you? If discipline is an end in itself, it either makes you feel smugly self-righteous, or sorely disappointed and lifeless because it you just missed out on something that seems really cool and pleasurable. Why discipline ourselves? Should we even bother to pursue discipline? Discipline has this tendency to either feed my pride or make me feel like a failure! A couple times I have wondered that in order to purse a grace-filled life, maybe I should ditch any pursuit of discipline altogether.

But perhaps the key to practicing discipline is to realize that discipline is not the end in itself. It is one aspect (among others) of growing toward purity of heart which in turn produces intimacy with God. Discipline is one way we cooperate with God in making us pure. But if we forget the goal of discipline (real intimacy with Him) we are elevating a secondary pursuit to an abysmal first.

Purity, likewise, is not to be pursued as merely an end in itself. It is not merely a form of self-discipline to make me a better person—that is far too weak a goal to accomplish something so insurmountable. Purity (more specifically for me: Moral Purity) has that end of intimacy with Christ. I want to Possess Him and live in the richness of His love. That is the motivation that propels me to repent (turn away from) inferior affections and to nurture passion for Him. I crave Intimacy and I know that there is only one Person who can fully satisfy that craving. I have tasted of His intimate love and caring nature, but do not live in it moment by moment.

Change our hearts, oh Lord, to truly desire You above all else.

On standards we can't keep

2008-03-12T23:42:00.006-04:00

"I have disappointed and failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself," the first-term governor told a packed press conference at his Manhattan office. "I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family," he added, as his wife of two decades, Silda, stood by his side.
–Words of Eliot Spitzer, Governor of New York State, alluding to allegations of illegal involvement with a prostitution ring. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7288540.stm

How many times do we disappoint and fail to live up to the standards we expect for ourselves? That is perhaps the key thing that defines fallen man. Fallen man is not defined by the fact that he no longer knows right from wrong. His problem is that he knows right from wrong, but is hopelessly unable to walk in it. Everyone—atheist, Christian, or heathen alike—all set some sort of standard for themselves concerning the way they think they ought to live! The ironic thing is that people break the very standards they themselves create! I am not speaking here of God’s laws and perfect holiness which we obviously far fall short of, but something more simple—those artificial standards of righteousness we set up for ourselves.

From the mom who says she should never yell at her kids (and then does anyways) to the husband who says that he should always be patient with his wife (and then loses it), to the kid who has always said cheating was wrong (and then looks at his friend’s paper), to the governor who spouts the need for integrity….need I go on? I mean, really, if you yourself can’t think of a single circumstance of duplicity in your own life, then perhaps your thinker is out of order. We all do it on different levels in various circumstances.

What is the natural response when we find ourselves in a position where we have violated what we understand to be right? Well usually, the place I want to start is blame—I blame my circumstances, or the people who have influenced me, the helps that had been denied me, or the pressures that surround me! Sometimes (and this one can even look responsible), I blame my own weakness. That way at least it looks like I am facing up to my errors! In reality, though, I am simply hiding behind my humanity as an excuse for my shortcomings.

Another natural response is simply a sudden shift in standards. “Oh, well, I thought that was wrong before, but now because I have done it, and found so much pleasure in it—well…it can’t be wrong because it felt so right! Wow, I was so inhibited!” We have just justified something we knew was wrong. Maybe we’ll feel guilty about it for a while, but eventually it will begin to feel like normal behavior.

May I submit that this human behavior pattern of violating what we know to be right is a universal indication that mankind is broken? We are fallen people. We know what we ought to do and yet don’t do it! It is not complicated! It is just that we are broken! Men and women will face judgment primarily on the basis of this reality—their constant falling short of the standard they know to be right. In fact, we in essence judge ourselves. We know what is right, yet screw it up.

You get the picture here? The good news is this: God sent a Savior, Jesus. He fixes things. In fact, He fixes broken people. All who trust in Him, acknowledging that they have failed and need fixing get a special gift: they are no longer judged the way they deserve to be judged, and they receive new power that grows them toward actually living the way they ought to live.

Learn from our poor governor—learn from me—it’s impossible for you to live up to the standard you expect from yourself. If you think you are actually doing it, you probably are just blind to the duplicity of pride that permeates your existence.

Be honest about your shortcomings and look to the Savior for his forgiveness and help. It’s never too late and never to early to repent. It’s the sweetest gift you’ll ever receive, and it’s a gift you will have to keep tapping over and over again.

The gift of singleness...

2008-02-14T21:27:00.006-05:00

Happy Valentine’s Day! Or, as one friend told me today, “Happy Singles Awareness Day, or S.A.D.” I don’t really like that last one, though, because being single is not such a sad thing. You are lonely at times, yes, but there are special benefits and opportunities in singleness that you really don’t have when you are married (or dating or engaged, etc.).

It’s funny that God seems to have been speaking to me about singleness the past week or two. Part of it is a carryover from how God met me at a recent conference in Asia, and part of it something fresh. Most of it, however, is just starting to really understand what Paul was saying in 1 Corinthians 7.

"One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord."

(1 Cor. 7:32-35 NAS95, emphasis added)

People have often talked about the “gift of singleness.” Sometimes when people say this, they are referring to the idea of a God-given temperament or “gift” that allows someone to live a fulfilling, celibate life. That is one definition, but I am thinking about a broader definition: that state of romantic unattachment which a follower of Christ finds him or herself in for an indefinite period of time (for whatever reason). The person in our second definition may have no specific “call” to be single in the short or long term—it’s just that they haven’t found their life partner yet, or circumstances have forced them to choose otherwise. What I refer to as the “gift of singleness” definitely falls in the second category.

Being single is a gift. No really, it is! But up to this point in my life, I don’t think I’ve really opened up the gift and started to get excited about it. Imagine a child getting a present on their birthday, looking at it for months without opening it, and then wondering why their Daddy gave them such a bum birthday present! I have been pouty with God on and off because I would get lonely, have unfulfilled desires, want to have some romantic fun, or just because I felt like I was missing out on something special that other friends have. All these attitudes reveal that I missed the essence of the gift, and am only looking at the fading wrapping paper!

The real gift of singleness is about devotion to God. You can’t really get excited about being single unless you’re excited about God—the reason I‘m excited about it right now is because I’m excited about God! Paul says it is for our benefit, to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. The gift is that you are at a time in life where God is totally able to mold you and shape you without distraction. You have fewer demands on your time and life; fewer responsibilities with caring for other people. More than any other time in life, you can maximize your time alone with your God and seek intimacy with Him. In greater measure than ever before, you are able to focus your energy on becoming holy in both body and spirit. You can, more than a married person can rightly do, discipline your lifestyle to focus on pleasing the Lord exclusively.

Do you see the caveat to the gift here? You’re not going to enjoy singleness unless you learn to enjoy God. Period. Singleness (or marriage actually, for that matter) can easily be viewed as a curse if it is not in the context of a life of enjoyment of God. There are struggles in any life circumstance: single, married, living with parents, etc., but they all boil back to how you are relating to God.

Let me state it one last way: God is the gift of singleness. Take off the wrapping paper. Open the gift. My guess is that intimacy and a life toward “undistracted devotion” is inside. Use the gift!

A psalm of petition for a pure heart

2007-11-09T00:52:00.000-05:00

In the LORD I will trust, He is my Rock
From day to day and year to year, He remains the same
He is faithful—His character is fixed, His nature does not change

But who am I, oh Lord my God?
I am weak and flawed. I am unable to seek You as I ought
My passions drift from day to day, my affection oft grows cold

You teach me new things, year by year—I understand You more
You show me new depths of wisdom, grace, and love
Yet I wander, loose my bearing, loose sight of my Fixed Star

In what a terrible state I am found—
Desires and passions for worldly things, apathy, and pride
These things compete with You and simply do not die

What feeble service to you I offer—heart divided, soul straying
So often distracted in thought, or youth wasted—
You are worthy of much more than this

To seek You with all my heart, to have You as my single passion
Not divided, not in part, but a whole person full of worship
For this state of rest my spirit cries out!

Forgive my wanderings, my foolish passion!
I repent of inferior affections, of my childlike distractions!
Cleanse me from the inside out—restore my soul to You!

You have changed, in the past, my heart of stone to flesh
You knew me then, and I learned of You
Your law of love began to work upon my life

Work again upon my heart, and tweak its every passion
Redirect my thoughts, my mind, my plans—
Make not just tender flesh, but whole devotion!

The Lord alone is Worthy; He alone can save!
He has conquered, He has bought us with His blood
He alone can cleanse and change the heart within

In You and in Your power, Your grace and perfect love
In this my weak soul rests and trusts
Oh glorify Yourself in me!

For You I was created, for You I am redeemed
By Your grace I do now worship You
And I will love You day by day

On Repentance and Faith

2007-10-24T13:47:00.000-04:00

First, repentance is about trusting, not willing. Yes, there is a choice involved, but if our motive is determined straining to please God, all our striving will be a pile of filthy rags. We can do nothing--absolutely nothing to make provision for our sin. In repentance we depend on God to turn water into wine. Trust in our act of repentance releases the gift of God's grace to transform our hope into reality.
--TrueFaced by Bill Thrall et. al, p.103

The book quoted above significantly changed my concept of repentance. I have never really seen repentance as an act of faith in itself. In the past, I have always considered repentance as a sort of agreeing with God about my sin: I would confess that I was wrong, express real and heartfelt remorse, and then tell God that I wanted to do better--that I was going to try to do better. True repentance, however, recognizes that I am hopelessly unable to fix my sin problem by trying. Repentance is actually a form of trust in God that He is going to perform the impossible and conqueror a specific sin. In many ways, it has very little to do with willing, but everything to do with trusting in His grace. Real repentance, the kind that actually causes a sin to cease, takes place when we are "true-faced" before God. We confess our inability and our enslavement to sin, and trust in His power to change us. What a freeing (and challenging) way to approach sin!

Syllabus Shock

2007-08-30T15:32:00.000-04:00

I learned a new term last week: syllabus shock. I think it takes its place with some of the other great shocks of the world (i.e. culture shock, medical shock, shock and awe)...It is a feeling of disbelief at the realization that you expected to complete more than 2000 pages of intense reading in the next 3 months; a feeling of numbness as you think about typing something like 100 pages of reports and papers; a feeling of soreness, as you haul a 2-foot stack of books home from the bookstore and then realize that you are still missing at least 4. It is a feeling of depression as you realize that you will not have a social life in the next three months. It is also a feeling of excitement at the fact that you signed up to participate in a 40 minute debate; it is a feeling of anxiety as you think about how you are going to tackle an open-ended research project with your 2 teammates. Yes, this is syllabus shock.

I really don't mean to complain...shocks are also very stimulating...you get a certain buzz when you see an overview of whole bunch of really interesting material that you will get to explore in depth over the next few months. The two solutions I found that helped mitigate syllabus shock were:

Pray, casting your burden on the Lord, AND
Drop a class (choose life!)

I felt much better after each action. ;-) If anyone's interested, I'm now taking the following four classes:

MIN5300: Foundations for Spiritual Development
ICS5030: Understanding Cultures and Worldviews
BIB5112: Genesis-Song of Solomon: God's Plan of Creation and Redemption
THE6310: Systematic Theology 1

Simply Grace

2007-08-27T15:18:00.000-04:00

As a young child, I was taught about a God who loved me and who sent His only Son, Jesus, to die in my place and to live inside me. The way it was explained to me then was that I needed to ask Jesus to “come into my heart” to forgive me and cleanse me from all the wrong things I had done. There was a definite moment in my childhood (probably near the age of five) when I remember “asking Jesus into my heart” and putting my trust in this loving God. I don’t remember much of what life was like before that point, but I do know that I was filled with joy and awe of Him as a young child—my mom and dad remind me of how I would make up songs about His love which I had been taught and experienced. I remember being very concerned for and wanting to share with my 1^st grade friend, Kelly, because I realized that she and her parents had not experienced God’s love the way I had.

Growing up, all through my teen years, I had a strong awareness that God was real, and was regularly challenged to give my entire life into His control. My parents took me to church every week and I also read the Bible on my own. I gained an incredible amount of knowledge about God and the ways He had worked in History. I wanted to please God and tried very hard to serve Him and be obedient to Him, but two problems remained consistently through my 20s: 1.) I doubted that I really was a child of God—that I was loved and accepted by Him and that, should I die, I would actually be welcomed into His presence and 2.) I always struggled to live the life that I knew would please Him; the life of godliness I had been taught and seen recorded in the Bible. I always came up short of being the perfect Christian I knew I should be.

Because I was working so hard to please God, I became very proud of my good behavior and would often look down on people who were not as “righteous” as me. I was completely blind to the fact that I was so arrogant, and actually impressed most church people as a very mature Christian.

It wasn’t until I was 24 that God became real to me in a whole new way. I began to really understand and accept that thing that Christians call Grace. In a small Bible study, I explored this topic with several other Christian friends. One night, all alone and in my bedroom, I was studying the story of the Prodigal Son. God showed me that He loved me no matter what I did, and that all I needed was to believe in His love for me—to trust Him that He did indeed love me as His own son. I was challenged to believe that no matter how many times I disappointed Him, wandered from Him, or did wrong things, He would not disown me as His child. I resisted this at first…it battled with my pride. My pride clung to the many things I did that proved and validated my love for God. I realized that to really trust God, I had to give up my sense of accomplishment in my own righteous life.

God’s grace was, however, irresistible to me when I really understood it. As I accepted His love for me, words do not describe the joy that took place in my heart. I was crying, weeping for joy as I realized His love. I experienced total peace, knowing that I was accepted and loved by the God who created the Universe.

Living in this love of God is the most freeing thing has ever happened to me. I have complete assurance in my heart that I am accepted by God and will someday live with Him forever. I am free of my sense of duty to be perfect to prove my love for God. I am learning how to not judge others—God is teaching me how to love them with the same love He has showed to me. I have new freedom to be open and honest about my own shortcomings. I don’t have to pretend that I am better than I am. The difficulties of life are still there, but I have real confidence, peace, and joy in the midst of struggles. As I learn to trust God with each aspect of who I am, He continues to grow me and change me from the inside out.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast."
–Apostle Paul, The Bible, Ephesians 2:8-9 (NASB)

A mother's care and concern

2007-06-14T09:48:00.001-04:00

So today at work at 9:15 AM, my phone rings. It is my Mom, quite upset and a little panic stricken... she didn't know where I was, thought I didn't come home last night (which would be unlike me), and was concerned that maybe I was laying unconscious in my car in a ditch somewhere. She had called my cell phone (twice) and left a message on my work voicemail (which I hadn't checked yet) and had called my friend I was hanging out with last night. Truth was, I came home after she went to bed, no one else noticed me slip in, and I left for work early at 6:00 (also unlike me) to fix a server. I didn't think to tell her, and my cell phone doesn't work in the server room, so all that makes for a very panic-stricken mom who is about ready to call the police and report me missing.

So, there is no moral to this story except that it's really nice... nice to know there are people in your life who care about you that much. It's a wonderful feeling to know you are loved.

Spiritual Growth

2007-01-15T13:56:00.000-05:00

Here's a great description of spiritual growth I just came across... be comforted if you've ever felt like you just took a step or two back in your spiritual growth...it does happen.

Spiritual growth is not instantaneous, it is a process. It is not what you have attained, but the direction in which you are headed. It is not upward, but onward. It has been described as being three steps forward and two steps backward. Our problem is that we want growth without the growing pains. Remember that suffering is one of the greatest tools that God has in His hand to perfect the image of Christ in us. In suffering we find out how much we need Jesus, and through that process, faith, obedience, and love are produced in our lives. Purifying is facilitated by heat; thus, God provides heat to purify our lives and to deepen our commitment to obedience.

There will be days when you will feel exactly like you felt before you experienced revival. Do not despair, but recognize that your spiritual growth is dependent on how you respond to those feelings and how quickly you run to the cross, humble yourself, cry out for God's grace and receive His forgiveness. You can be certain that the enemy will challenge the commitments you have made in revival. The only question is how you will choose to respond to the challenge.

Source: Life Action Ministries

What's important is the direction you're headed in now....today. If you're drifting aimlessly, fix your eyes (back) on Jesus and continue the journey.

More from Urbana

2007-01-10T01:48:00.000-05:00

We live in a global world; therefore we need a global vision in order for Christianity to make sense in our worldview. If you view Christianity as essentially western and non-penetrating into other parts of the world, it will ultimately make you doubt the truth of Christianity itself. How can the message of the Gospel be universally true if it is not universally taking root all over the world? Therefore, the testimony from around the world that the church is growing and is strong is one of the most tangible modern-day proofs of the truth of the gospel we have in this current age.

This revelation has a been a powerful piece of my Urbana experience. Seeing the church in action around the world, and seeing by faith what God yet desires to accomplish through His church throughout the world immensely strengthened my faith/trust and joy in God. In addition to new excitement for the global church, it has strengthened my desire to see His kingdom come afresh here in the US, and in the lives my family, friends, and co-workers.

In short, you don’t have a very accurate picture of the church of Jesus Christ unless you have a global picture of the church….the really smart ones see that right in the Scripture where it says “this gospel shall be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come” (Matt 24:14). However, for slower ones, who don’t always get it so fast (like me), a jumpstart experience like Urbana can be immensely helpful in understanding God’s plan.

Urbana

2007-01-06T16:51:00.001-05:00

Got back from the Urbana missions conference (www.urbana.org) in St. Louis earlier this week. It was awesome 5 days of worship with 22,000 other people seeking God and His heart for the world. The highlights of the conference for me were the times of worship, meeting new friends, and catching a picture of the Body of Christ that I had never seen before.

Throughout the week at Urbana, we studied the Book of Ephesians using inductive Bible studies and through the exposition of Ajith Fernando (from Sri Lanka). The diverseness of the Body of Christ impressed me in a new way… how we are so different (in culture, ethnicity, nationality, or gifting) but all called to operate interdependently as one Body where Christ is the head. I had never wrestled with the concept of reciprocasity that Pastor Oscar Muriu (Kenya) spoke of on Thursday night. It humbled me to realize how much I can learn from others who have different backgrounds than me or come from a different flavor of Christianity.

I also feel that God helped me understand and become excited about His church. I saw that the church is the tool he will use to bring peace and reconciliation to our world. In Ephesians 3:10, Paul explains that the church is the vehicle God will use to make Himself known to the world. The church has been given the authority to do this task! In our culture of individualism, it is an eye-opener to see how God wants to work through community, not through my individual efforts alone.

(When we discuss “church” here, let’s be clear that the church is the worldwide Body of Christ…everyone from everywhere who is trusting in Jesus and letting Him control the direction of their lives….it is not defined by any earthly denomination or membership.)

“The Gospel” too, took on deeper meaning for me at this conference. The “Good News” encompasses not only forgiveness of sins and eternal life with God, but is part of a bigger mission… the gospel we preach also includes the fact that Jesus is changing the world through the church…your invitation to accept Christ is also an invitation to join that mission. That connection had never been made in my head or heart before. It certainly may make a more relevant message to someone like your average college student who may be slow to understand his or her own need for God, but quick to understand the vast needs of a suffering world.

What an awesome God we serve, and oh how neat it is to be part of the beautiful global church that God is building to bring glory to Himself!

More of my pics here
Full coverage of the conference on the urbana website here

Past brokenness into worship

2006-11-30T22:41:00.000-05:00

In my life, it seems there have been many times of near-total brokenness. Not long ago, I was in such a state. When I am broken, I experience an emotion of utter helplessness. I feel so completely alone, so totally in need, so decidedly confused about almost everything. Brokenness can become a deep valley with seemingly no way out.

I have become convinced, though, that God allows these times of brokenness because He wants us to go deeper with Him…He wants to reveal to us more of who He is.

Consider Job in the Old Testament. He was put through the severest trial I have ever read or heard of, yet he remained faithful to God. He also came out of the experience with a much more personal and meaningful knowledge of the Almighty One than he originally had at the beginning of the book. Consider his statement near the end of the book, “my ears had heard of You, but now my eyes have seen you.” (Job 42:5) Tell me, is that kind of knowledge not worth a very great trial?

There is a subtle caveat, though, in this brokenness. There is a fine line between brokenness and self-pity. Brokenness is generally a positive thing the end of which allows God to bring us closer to Himself. Self-pity, however, is a destructive surrender to the flesh. Faithful Job was chided by God at one point in the narrative. His sin was not for being broken, but I think for being self-focused and indulging in self-pity.

Several months ago I was at this place of being totally broken before God…I was an emotional wreck—oppressed, crying, on the verge of weeping. I was experiencing utter loneliness and confusion. At some point while I was crying out to God in this state, He showed me I had a choice. He showed me that to stay where I was for any longer would be self-pity. The alternative to this self-pity was Worship. Worship? What? I did not feel like worshipping Him, not in the least! By His grace, somehow, though, I was gently led to meditate on His greatness. I was slow at first to worship, I was fighting with my desire to indulge in self-pity. Eventually, though, as I entered into complete worship of Him, His peace overwhelmed me and lifted me out of my brokenness.

Job’s affliction lasted for an agonizing 37 chapters…it is painful to read them, I have trouble imagining what it was like to live through them! Note what changed Job’s lot—it wasn’t the restoration of what he had lost or the addition of something he wanted. His attitude changed when He became overwhelmed with the greatness of God. That is worship!

Pain is so deep and grief so real, that I will not simply tell you get over your self and start worshipping God… there is real brokenness that God allows in our lives, and it is nothing trivial. However, let me encourage you to evaluate your brokenness—it if is not bringing you closer to God, perhaps you are slipping into self-pity and it is time to for a healthy dose of Worship towards your heavenly Father. Never forget that He is in control and He loves you more than you can ever understand.

What is worship?

2006-10-22T01:14:00.000-04:00

Worship…I have been ruminating on the subject of worship recently…especially the aspect of worship in Evangelical Christianity that is expressed in music and song. What is worship? A few musings follow that are my humble aspirations to try to define that word for myself.

If we define worship as an emotion, I think I would say the emotion of worship is the state of being in of total awe of God… total awe of His great power, love, holiness, beauty—in awe of who He is. When I feel that emotion, sometimes it makes me want to weep for joy; other times I feel as if I need to lay facedown on the ground in reverence. Sometimes, it makes me feel like hiding under something because I am so acutely aware of my own smallness, sin, or neediness. Sometimes, I just feel the urge to bellow out at full volume how great my God is! Sometimes the emotion of worship makes me want to do all of these things at the same time! To experience an emotion like this is a high…it could be described as a euphoric feeling of total peace, joy, and contentment.

Worship is so much more than this, though. The fuller picture of worship defines worship as an act, or better yet, a way of life. Worship is living your life in such a way to reflect the reality of how great God is. According to Paul, it is ordering each day in the light of God’s sovereignty and omnipresence....a daily yielding of oneself in unconditional service to most precious and compelling Person in the universe.

There is a real problem when we consider worship only in the first aspect of feeling of awe and decrease the second aspect of a surrendered life. The fact is, though, that the first aspect isn’t even valid if it doesn’t produce the second. There is sometimes a tendency in our self-actualizing do-what-feels-good culture to idolize the emotion of worship instead of giving genuine and heartfelt praise to the Receiver of our worship.

Worship is, like love, both a noun and a verb—it is a state of being, but it is also an act that has to be lived out day by day. To have the first without the second is emotionalism. The second without the first is drudgery. We cannot truly perform the act of worship if we are not living in the awe of the greatness of God. Likewise our acts that show surrender to God are meaningless motions if they are not done as a response to his greatness. These two aspects are inseparable.

Let me encourage you, dear friend—come to know Him in His endless greatness…and then order you life in that knowledge. It is the way life was meant to be lived.

Overachievers

2006-09-26T20:20:00.000-04:00

My sister Sarah is an overachiever. The funny thing about overachievers is that they always feel like underachievers. Underachievers, on the other hand, always feel as if they are overachievers (that's why they never achieve anything else.)

What am I? Am I an overachiever or an underachiever?

A Wonderful Wedding

2006-09-25T23:02:00.000-04:00

My best friend just got married on Saturday...what a blissful day! It was so much fun and such an honor to be "best man".

Congratulations, Sung & Chelsea. May God richly bless you in the days and years to come.

(click on a photo below for more)

Waiting on God

2006-09-11T00:20:00.000-04:00

Waiting on God… that phrase brings up all sorts of emotions whenever I think about it. It is a sort of bittersweet thing really. It feels bitter because the thing desired is eating away at you…..but the aftertaste is sweet when you consider the One on whom you are waiting.

Whatever the thing is you are waiting for… it is something you desire with great expectancy. It is usually something you actually need, or something you want so badly that it feels like an actual need. In my life I think it has been first and foremost a desire to see God work in my life is some specific way—to see Him change something in my heart, or to see Him give me a level of direction or vision that I previously didn’t experience. Sometimes it has also been in regard to relationships—my desire and “need” for genuine friendship or companionship and not being able to see how He was or is providing for me in those areas. Things like these can eat away at a person--things desperately wanted, but incapable of being acquiring by simple self-effort. They are things that only the Father can provide. The wanting of things in this category can be a desperately bitter thing to experience. It can be soul-trying--the epitome of depression and demotivation.

Yet, I find that the waiting for these things is also sweet. Why sweet? Do I like waiting? Do I like pain? Or am I just by nature a patient person? No way. It is sweet because of what I know about the One I am waiting on. I know that He can provide the thing I desire. I know that He loves me more than I can comprehend. I also know that he will not deny me anything that I ask for if I ask for it with pure motives according to His will. I remember that His delay in providing has a reason. What glorious knowledge this is! The sourness is turned to sweetness as I stop to savor the thing that has been denied me. It reminds me of the sourpatch candy my sisters and I always buy at the penny candy store on vacation in Cape Cod. The stuff has a distinct bite to it as you first taste it, but the sweet aftertaste is addictive!

In Isaiah 40, the writer says “those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint.” This waiting is not sleeping or doing nothing---it is a type of active resting in God. It is not a diminishing of desire—rather it is an intensifying of expectation that the desire will in some way be met. And it doesn’t result in exhaustion, it results in a mystifying multiplication of strength and energy. The ones who wait on God renew their strength in the sweetness of His character and His promises and then before they know it, the thing that once challenged them and overcame them is overcome as effortlessly as an eagle catching an updraft of wind that the Creator sent his way.

Just let us remember to wait. And let us remember the One on whom we wait—He is faithful.

The Walk of the Spirit

2006-09-09T12:27:00.000-04:00

It strikes me while reviewing my journal this morning from back in January, that the Walk of the Spirit is so much different than anything remotely like religion….it is also (at least from my experience) so easy to misunderstand. The walk of the Spirit is living life from day to day controlled not by a set of principles or rules or disciplines, but by the living presence of Jesus Christ. It is not about doing this or that (i.e. reading the Bible, praying, going to church or Bible study). It is also not about avoiding specific things… (like not falling, not lusting, not cursing, not worrying). Those are all good and appropriate sediments for a follower of Christ, but they are a ‘god’ of religion in themselves if they become the goal of our “Christian walk”. Following Jesus and living in the Spirit is about transforming belief and trust in Jesus Christ and it is totally something that we are incapable of perfecting in ourselves… we can express our deepest desire to have it take place in us, but ultimately it is the Lord who tunes and tweaks our hearts to live in this right relationship to Him. Could it be that living in the Spirit is about living above the daily grind of falling and repenting and falling and repenting?—your focus is consumed with something so much greater than trivial disciplines. Your life simply becomes a discipline of worshipping Jesus Christ. This flows out of you in the form of agape love toward your brothers and sisters and to those outside the Body of Christ.

It comes to my mind while reading Galatians 5 where Paul is speaking about Freedom in Christ that walking in the Spirit is in a category alone by itself—it really is above this whole plane of dos and don’ts. It doesn’t run in parallel with either human nature or with the rule and principle based approach of the Law. Those are both left in the dust as we stand before Christ as a new creature. On the one hand we are released from the death-grip of our sinful natures, yet on the other hand we are also above the condemnation of not measuring up to religion. Yes, we will still make mistakes (at times real doosies), but as long as we keep refocusing our eyes on Jesus, we will never loose our joy or our peace and sense of belonging as children of God. That is the wonderful good news of Jesus Christ!

No matches

2006-09-04T23:19:00.000-04:00

Have you ever tried one of those online match 'em up sites? I never had, until today...I was a little board, and thought I would try one just for fun. I took the extensive online survey and then clicked the "find matches" link. The response was that I was unmatchable!
Good thing I'm not in any rush!